Trauma sustained in childhood can remain lodged in us at a profound level. These stored memories may sit in our bodies, our cells, our very essence. The path to completion within then is about allowing this trauma a safe space to be heard and healed.

I want to say, first off, if I can do this so can you!  I grew up in a violent, confusing, painful home. I know what it feels like to be on red alert all the time. I get it and my life has been about finding ways to reclaim my sovereignty in many ways.

The energetic toll is huge for those with trauma in their bodies. It means the body never feels like a safe place to be, the earth never feels safe. It means we do not feel we can fall and be caught. It means surrender may elude us and the beauty of surrender is that the greatest gifts in life come when we do; love, childbirth, joy……

Trauma in the body also means we are always firing on all cylinders and it can start to lead to a depletion of resources and our energy levels. Affecting our well being on many levels.

A big chunk of a child’s life in those early years is spent working out the world they live in. In terms of chakra systems years 0-7 are the base chakra and 8-15 are the sacral chakra and so on with 7 years covering each chakra. So the primary chakras are governed by the experiences we had from the womb onwards. And the earlier those negative experiences started the deeper they will lie because everything else will have been built on that foundation. And if that foundation is on red alert then everything else is built upon that premise. This is why healing at the core can be so life changing.

Over the years that I have spent to come to own my body and know myself I have also been lucky to experience many ways of self knowing and healing. And this now informs the work I share.

What I tend to see a great deal with clients is this inner trauma playing out in some form or other in the body and in the way the body is responding to the world. This can be anything from stomach upsets to an inability to speak our truth to a block in creativity. My belief is that when we are unable to gain clarity on why something is the way it is, why we are blocked in some way, then we ask the body for the answers. And the body will tell us what is really happening.

Many people can be living lives where they might be in the 30’s or 40’s or older and living really successful lives and yet at some level that frightened child in them is still frightened. On some level there body is still carrying that trauma around and it will be having an impact however subtle or overt.

Trauma can become such an old friend in our bodies that sometimes we can seek out more traumatic events because the opposite feels wrong somehow. This is why many who come from abusive homes may end up in similar situations again. The trauma feels familiar. I will not say it feels good because often the body needs to be taught what good or healthy is. It just feels familiar and we are creatures of habit and familiar means safe. So the wire tripping continues.

My intention behind this post then is to throw some light on this and offer some re assurance. To say that there are ways to break the cycles in our bodies and bit by bit re claim who we are.

Number one is to start to listen to your body. Yes when we are in fight or flight there is the danger that everything is perceived as a threat. The other way to look at this is you have most likely become extremely good at reading people and situations. You probably know when something does not feel right. You know that feeling and this shall be a very useful resource in life. When you were a child you could not honour your body and run away and get relief when you got that danger sign in your senses. Now you can. So honour your body.

Trauma in the body can lead to disassociation. In Shamanism we would say soul loss. So get close with your body. See yourself naked, self massage, take warm baths, treat yourself to nice body oils and clothes that feel soothing on your skin. When you forget sometimes you have a body, when you get that spaced out funny feeling that means you are somewhere else and not in the now, do something physical to bring your awareness back to the body. Something simple even like tapping the back of your hand or your arm and saying “this is my arm” “this is my hand”. I recommend reading Peter Levine’s work on healing trauma in the body for more exercises like this.

Have healthy self speak. Watch how you talk to yourself. Sometimes that angry, hurtful voice that reprimands you may not be you, will not be you. It will be the voice of your primary care giver or someone you spent a lot of time with who may have spoken with less than loving words. Make sure you congratulate yourself on the great things you do, the small victories and the big ones and be loving and compassionate in how you speak to yourself always. This is the basis of self love. If you need to, surround yourself with positive phrases and images to remind you of your beauty. We are all beautiful. If those who hurt us had done more of that they may not have hurt us. We only hurt others when we are in pain and do not know what to do with this.

It is okay to be angry and to need to vent this. Find healthy ways to release this emotion which is just energy. Do something physical perhaps or something that will allow you to channel that energy in a constructive way. Martial arts, running, painting, horse riding……you choose. Just choose something healthy.

Acknowledge how far you have come and all your have achieved. Celebrate the successes in your life and this will tell your body that there is goodness around you. Happiness will also decrease the fight or flight response. Put up awards and certificates where you can see them.

Surround yourself with people and things that are soothing. Have soothing routines that bring calm into your life. Have people in your inner circle who uplift you and do not bring daily drama to your door.

Sisters, learn how to self massage the Yoni. The yoni holds trauma at deep levels and when you start to heal and honour this part of yourself your life shall evolve, much shall be released and you shall reclaim your power.

Get some space holding. See a professional whether they be a counsellor or a healer who can assist you in this process. And remember to walk away from anyone who may cross a boundary or make you feel unheard or disrespected. Having someone hold the space for you is a vital part of healing trauma so please seek out those who can assist you. Do not feel you are alone, seek help, there is lots of help out there.

Share your story. Support groups, talking therapy are about this. Having your story witnessed compassionately is one of the most healings things you can do. Find a safe, authentic space in which to do this. As you do this you start to release the trauma and the resulting emotions from your body.

Move your body and bring movement into your life. Allow your body to shed old skins of the past and release all that pent up emotion. During trauma we often freeze and so the emotions we are feeling are not expressed. These emotions then get lodged in us and these need clearing for us to feel the flow of life again. Join a class, seek out a body therapist, find ways to move daily.

Find safe healthy outlets for your voice. Many children of trauma locked down their feelings so allow yourself ways to express your feelings in safe, perhaps creative ways.

Forgive yourself. Accept you were a child and you were in need of protection. Nothing you could have done would have justified your boundaries being crossed and any emotional, physical or sexual abuse. If you can forgive yourself then you are much closer to releasing the past.

Above all else make a commitment to Love yourself. From this moment on. To totally and utterly Love yourself in every way. And see what that may bring into your life.

This is not an exhaustive list these are suggestions to consider. Mainly this is to inspire any who read this to take that first step. If you feel you may have trauma in your body seek out help and start the process to self knowing and self love.

We are all in this together. By healing the trauma in our bodies we heal future generations and we create the world we wish to live in.

With Love

Amber